


leap of faith

by ralf



Series: Close to Canon [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Episode Related, Episode: s01e06 Of Men And Angels, Introspection, M/M, Skittish Alec Lightwood, Vulnerable Magnus Bane, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 20:17:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21203465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ralf/pseuds/ralf
Summary: Blinking his eyes open languidly he scans the room for the source of the mysterious sound and finds it on the couch across from him in the form of a Shadowhunter sprawled out awkwardly on the cushions, feet crammed against the armrest, his left arm hanging off entirely and his lips parted around a faint snore.Alec Lightwood, eldest child of Robert and Maryse Lightwood, and walking, breathing contradiction.[Magnus's POV of the morning after their accidental sleepover in 1x06 (technically 2x18).]





	leap of faith

**Author's Note:**

> Watch this to freshen up your memory (or just because it's cute <3): <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gYyPtAgH-o>
> 
> A day late, but to be fair I unexpectedly got piled with work yesterday (and stared at this for hours today because it hates me).  


A soft recurring puff tugs Magnus from slumber. It almost sounds like a purr, just a little rougher around the edges, and Magnus's sleep-addled brain needs a few seconds to realize why it's out of place. He hasn't had a pet in the past decade or two, especially no cat. He can't sense any malicious presence within his wards though so he's not overly concerned.

Blinking his eyes open languidly he scans the room for the source of the mysterious sound and finds it on the couch across from him in the form of a Shadowhunter sprawled out awkwardly on the cushions, feet crammed against the armrest, his left arm hanging off entirely and his lips parted around a faint snore.

Alec Lightwood, eldest child of Robert and Maryse Lightwood, and walking, breathing contradiction. From the moment they met Magnus has tried to get a read on him and mostly failed. For someone who has no capacity for deception at all Alec is surprisingly hard to figure out. He saved Magnus's life twice without asking for anything in return, helped him save Luke's life too, is assertive and confident only to become a stuttering shy mess in the blink of an eye.

Magnus doesn't know how to handle him but he knows that he wants to learn more. Fascination has settled warmly behind his ribs and is daring him to let Alec close, to reveal parts of himself he never thought he'd want to share again, to take a chance. And while he's not entirely sure that this isn't a mistake, the fear of being vulnerable is muted in a way it hasn't been in a long time.

Like Alec might be worth taking a risk for.

Magnus gets to his feet slowly, rolling his shoulder with a grimace. These couches really aren't meant to be slept on. He fully expects Alec to wake from his movement and the sound of his steps, but he doesn't even stir. He just lies there, his chest rising and falling steadily, still deep in sleep.

Magnus blinks, unsure how to proceed. He's loath to tear Alec from well-deserved rest so he stays where he is and gives in to the temptation of simply watching Alec.

The golden morning light paints him in soft pastel hues, lending his features a gentleness that he's kept painstakingly hidden but that Magnus has caught glimpses of anyway. The relaxation of sleep makes him almost seem small, fragile in a way that Magnus knows to be untrue. Alec emanates calm like this, the evenness of his breath, the smoothness of his brow. It's a sharp contrast to how he was yesterday, nervous and hard-edged and skittish. Magnus wonders what made him lower his guard like that, to allow such carelessness to fall asleep in unfamiliar surroundings, and so deeply that he doesn't notice Magnus's presence. He's entirely at ease, unselfconscious like he'd never be when awake and the tiny, light snores that keep escaping him, they're...

Well. They're cute. Unbearably so.

An involuntary smile works itself across Magnus's lips, the sight waking a tingle in his stomach and he takes a silent step closer. He never thought he'd see the day where he finds a Shadowhunter adorable, but here he is. His fingers itch and he fears that if he keeps looking he'll do something stupid like reach out and brush Alec's hair back.

He turns and retreats into the kitchen, his hands clenched into fists before he uncurls them deliberately. He needs a distraction. His gaze wanders over the pristine kitchen island and empty counters before it settles on the kettle. Coffee. He can make coffee.

The water boils slowly and Magnus fights the urge to pace. Which is ridiculous because he doesn't pace, never, as a general rule. Why would he, when there's absolutely no reason to. The fact that for the first time in almost a century his heart has awoken and promptly decided to skip into the unsure hands of a Nephilim who's as out of his depth when it comes to feelings as he is gorgeous certainly doesn't warrant any pacing.

Magnus loses his patience with the water kettle and snaps his fingers. A small tray with two marbleized cups full of steaming coffee appears on the counter while the kettle gives a protesting rattle at being unceremoniously drained. Magnus ignores it and clicks his fingers again, to freshen up his makeup and hair, and again, to change his shirt. Nothing too conspicious of course, just a plainer one in the same dark red without the golden embroidery. He doesn't want to seem as if he's trying too hard but in case Alec has an eye for detail he'll notice.

Telling the nervous flutter in his abdomen to kindly get lost he grabs the tray and marches back out with determined strides. He sets it down on the low table a little more forcefully than intended, resulting in a low thud. So much for easing into it. Oh well.

“Cream or sugar?”

The effect is instantaneous. Alec's eyes fly open as if he'd never been soundly asleep in the first place. For a second his gaze darts around, taking in the floor, Magnus, the room at large, and then he moves in one swift motion, sitting up smoothly as if poised for a fight. His trained soldier getup is thorougly ruined a moment later though when he turns towards the window and the bright sunlight makes him scrunch his face up like an angry kitten.

“Did I fall asleep?” he asks nonsensically, voice sleep-rough, his hand rising to his temple, and Magnus carefully files away the information that Alec Lightwood is not a morning person. He realizes he assumed differently because of the air of military that all Shadowhunters exude, and to learn otherwise feels like a small triumph. It warms his insides and encourages him to sit down on the couch beside Alec. “We both did.”

Alec is having none of it and jumps away as if Magnus propositioned him, and Magnus sighs. “On seperate couches. Never fear.”

He watches as Alec grabs his jacket, his heart giving a mournful thump. The man from last night who watched Magnus intently and dared to smile is gone. Alec's guard is back up and it has doubled in height. “I should never have taken you up on your offer for drinks.”

Magnus rises from his seat on the couch, and so does his temper. “In hindsight liquor might have been a bad idea after being drained of all my magic to heal your friend Luke.” He's keeping his tone mostly even, just enunciated enough to remind Alec that he and his Shadowhunter friends employed a High Warlock's services with no intention of paying. He went along with it for Clary and because he wasn't going to let a fellow Downworlder die an agonizing death, but that doesn't mean he is unaware of the circumstances.

“He's not my friend,” Alec retorts, shrugging on his jacket. “He's Clary Fairchild's. I've only known her five days and she's already more trouble than she's worth.” Derision mars his words and he turns to the door as if Luke's fate didn't matter to him and assisting in his rescue was nothing more than an inconvenience to him.

Magnus might have fallen for his dismissiveness if he hadn't tapped into Alec's strength and gotten an impression of his consciousness in the process. The desire to help had been overwhelmingly strong, had pushed Alec's life force forward for Magnus to siphon easily.

Magnus is not a fool. He knows one of the first things Shadowhunters learn is to never interfere in Downworlder business. Supposedly a recognition of the Downworlders' right to self-govern but mostly a testament to the Shadowhunters' indifference to Downworlder lives. Either way it's a violation of the Accords and while he expected nothing else from Jace he suspects Alec to have some reservations about that. He realized it the moment he asked for Alec and Jace went tense that their fight was likely about their level of involvement, and he almost gave up hope that Alec would show at all.

It only served to heighten his relief when seconds from succumbing to magical exhaustion Alec swept in, craddling him in sure hands and telling him to take what he needed. Magnus concluded that if Alec's wish to do the right thing made him abandon his training and lend his strength to a Warlock so he could save a Werewolf, Maryse and Robert couldn't have corrupted him irreversibly. It speaks of a heart that beats in the right place.

“You're more than just a pretty face, aren't you?”

That certainly gets Alec's attention. “What is that supposed to mean,” he asks, too flatly to really be considered a question while seizing Magnus up warily. Magnus wonders absently if anyone has ever told Alec how disarmingly handsome he is. Probably not.

“You shared your strength with me to help your _friend_.” He can't help the slight tease before turning serious again. “It's rare to find a Shadowhunter with such a.. open heart.”

He holds Alec's gaze, half a challenge and half an offer. He doesn't know what he's expecting Alec to do with it, but definitely not for Alec to meet him with devastating honesty.

“I trust you,” Alec states, his finger pointing at Magnus as if in accusation. “I don't know why but I do.”

Magnus's breath catches in his throat. _This_ is why his heart beat higher from the moment he laid eyes on Alec. Admissions like this that roll off his tongue as if they're nothing, natural, as if he's unaware of how unprecedented this is, how unprecedented _he_ is. Trust, between a Shadowhunter and a Downworlder who barely know each other and don't owe each other anything. It feels too monumental to fathom and yet here Alec is, standing by it easily.

Everything in Magnus strains to try and preserve that connection, a small part of him going as far as to hope that he can lure Alec back out of his reserved shell. He grasps for something to say that will make Alec linger just a bit longer even as Alec shifts on his feet restlessly, turning to the door. “What time is it? I have to get back to the Institute.”

“Stay for breakfast,” Magnus blurts, taking a step after Alec, catching his eyes again. “I conjure up a mean Belgian waffle.” His breath rushes out of his lungs. He feels raw under Alec's scrutiny.

“No,” Alec answers with such finality, such vehemence as if the notion alone is ludicrous.

Magnus's smile dims.

Alec points at him again and this time there's definite accusation there. “If you let anyone know that I slept here last night--”

Magnus gathers his bruised heart and pulls up his walls. Two can play that game. “Relax,” he interrupts Alec. “My reputation's on the line just as much as yours. I lose all my credibility if my people found out that I let _a Shadowhunter_ spend the night.”

It's not actually true. While he's personally very aware that he's never bedded a Shadowhunter he doubts anyone beside him bothered to keep track. Thanks to his reputation no Warlock would bat an eyelash if details of their little sleepover went public. They'd assume it was a meaningless tangle.

The thought churns uncomfortably in Magnus's stomach. Nothing about Alec feels meaningless to him.

“Then why'd you let me sleep here?” Alec asks harshly, frowning at him.

_Let me spell it out for you. I wanted to see you again. You've unlocked something in me._

Magnus isn't ready to bare his heart again so soon, not when Alec isn't ready to listen yet.

Instead he lifts his chin and says, “Trust makes you do strange things.”

Alec's eyes dart over him as if he doesn't believe a word. The doubt in his gaze is near stiffling, so Magnus takes a deep breath and waves his hand. “Must be something in the air.”

He almost misses the miniscule uptick in the corner of Alec's mouth. It's nothing, compared to the wide entranced smile Alec allowed himself yesterday when Magnus offered him drinks, but it settles warmly in Magnus's chest regardless, assuring him that he's still the same man underneath who's just in need of being coaxed out again patiently. And while Magnus is generally short on patience, he's made a habit of saving his for the things that are worthwhile.

He lets Alec leave after one last lingering glance, with quick steps and a tense back, the certainty curling around his heart that putting his faith in Alec Lightwood is the right call.


End file.
